Sunday, February 22, 2009
{ Sunday, February 22, 2009 }
amazing love, you give me butterflies.
you have me flying so high up in the sky.
never had i imagined such a feeling,
and hearing that i'm your everything.
i promise that wherever life may lead you,
with all my heart i'll be there t0o.
forever you're for me and i am for you.
-
Cheers,
Adie Checkmong a.k.a Stitch
Labels: i love you nur filzah.
Friday, February 13, 2009
{ Friday, February 13, 2009 }
i've been under heaps of pressure lately. likewise, it's always been financial stress. but this time, there's more that meets the eye. i'm feeling down. i can't understand why MY life is not fair whereas others can happily study all they want till U or whatsoever. i can't understand why she can't relate to me in a nicer way. i understand the part where they can't afford to help me and that they themselves are having problems but why can't it just get it to their minds that i CAN get help?! i mean, it's either they wanna help me get help or not. i want to go back to school so badly. i want a g0od future. i want a bright future ahead of me. i want all the great things in life to be achieved just as i've dreamed i would. if only she has a bit of hope and faith in me, i guess all that really matters is the money.
but now, there are more to it than just that. the girlfriend's father is helping me get a job for my dad as he wants to start working asap. i just hope that their help will be of g0od use and that things will eventually perk up a bit. i'm not wishing for a miracle, and i know there are people who are worse off than me. but right now, it's just the education i want. the girlfriend told me of her plans to help, and i know she's just trying to be helpful and chip in or something. she is going to do the best she can but i don't expect to burden her. she's still schooling and besides, i wanna achieve something on my own. i've done a lot for the family- not to boast or likewise, but i've not done a lot for myself. THIS is what the girlfriend tells me. she used to tell me that i don't do things for myself. she keeps feeling resented. she says i keep buying her stuffs all the time even when i'm obviously broke! she says, in her heart, that i should start doing something for myself.
and i'm pretty faithful in myself about my future though at first, i thought my life has gone dark. the girlfriend has made me feel better and i thank her for that. she was jealous about the consultant i was talking about but i just hope she'll know that I DO NEED HER OHOK! she's the person i need, cause she boosts me up emotionally- just what i need right now. fcuk larh! a consultant is just a consultant anyway!! besides, what's a girlfriend for in your life right?!
other than all these whirlwinds that i'm facing, there are still other issues to think about. i'm thinking of saving the money till everything is ready. only then shall i continue pursuing in my studies. at least then, i know i'm financially ready. i can't get help from mendaki for my studies- unless it's family related- cause they don't support private institutions. wtf -.=
i'm dead beat. i am supposed to have a barbeque with friends in camp while doing my duty but kite smue tenga kna tekan ni skrg. baek kn? all i need is a g0od long rest from reality and have a nice long time alone with the girlfriend, wishing that there's no such word as ''problems'' in our dictionaries. how i wish.
