Friday, June 27, 2008
{ Friday, June 27, 2008 }
will be on a long hiatus for the meantime due to the rehearsals for NDP parade, especially the one for tomorrow. will be back with updates and pictures. miss me.
and dearest dear money, can you grow on trees and fall on my hands instead?
; i wonder, what the future holds.
no faith doesn't mean giving up.
whatever happens, happens.
life is a work of wonders.
cherish every waking moment of it before you know it's t0o late.
Labels: CEPAT LARH NDP ABES ...........
Saturday, June 21, 2008
{ Saturday, June 21, 2008 }
i've been meaning to l0ok up on the workings of life. of how unfair life is. of how complicated things seem in a second though happiness comes just a second ago. I've been meaning to take a whole day off from the world and have it just to myself; think about a lot of things that have been bothering my mind all these while. I've been meaning to share things with her, but only after she's underst0od it all a little better than before. it's not as simple as it seems. why do i keep pretending I'm fine when inside, there are loads of problems i keep to myself? cause i simply don't want to trouble others. and not just that. but also cause i know where i stand. plus, what is life without the complication of things aye? so i have to go through this myself. not on my own, my girl doesn't allow that. but as complicated as it seems, somehow she's just t0o much of a pampered girl. she has to change to0, for i want her to very much be the last girl i date and be in love with. don't misunderstand my statement though. just know that sometimes, people lie to protect their loved ones from getting hurt. and i hope she knows that t0o.
if she loves me and if she's reading this, i hope that she knows that no matter what happens, i don't want to lose her as much as she doesn't to lose me. but i've made myself clear the other night, haven't i? oh well, to have prayers answered that things will change as days go by is some sort a miracle to come true.
there are t0o much in this mind and i hope that after the NDP period is over, i can have a day off to myself and ease the tension inside me. i want to be at peace, with nothing to think about except how lovely a day can be and who i can share the beautiful day with. but not now. i suppose i have to stand back and take things as it comes at me.
to dear; i hope you really understand. i simply needed to have the morning to myself. i wasn't in the m0od and i suppose sometimes you do feel that way t0o don't you? so try to understand, especially about my super busy schedule nowadays. NDP period is here and everything is going berserk.. i love you and i've always do. you do know that right?
Labels: as complicated as it seems, i want things to change.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
{ Sunday, June 15, 2008 }
being a kendarat at a wedding is very tiring. keeps myself busy so i won't menggatal i guess. LOL! anyways, yesterday's match was a devastating blow of 2-0 with Saudi Arabia winning the cup. i was at kallang and it t0ok me so long just to get back to bukit batok for the family function (maternal side of my family). i won't want to elaborate so much about the wedding function though, cause all i want right now is a g0od l0ng rest. there's work tomorrow and i just don't want to think about what will come. i take it as it's thrown at me. like it or not, 9 more months till i'm free from NS. i cannot wait. but i have to, unfortunately :/
; i need you to trust me with your heart. i need your understanding cause of the commitment i have in my life right now. i need you to control your jealousy. you're no control freak. just a jealous one. offended or not, i still want to show them that the both of us can make it in this relationship. nothing can stop us from making things happen, right baby? i just need you to open up to me about what YOU feel i should change on. i need this. there's so much r0om for improvement for the both of us. and i know you know that.
i hope you will change. i need this. i really do. and you should know there is no reason for me to cheat on you or do anything stupid behind you. just remember what i told you.
......................................................................
as for my life, things are still the same. only that i'm able to hide it better i suppose. no such thing as magic. i have to go through this once and for all. suffer first, enjoy later. that's what i believe. looking forward to the changes of things around me. i'll be the happiest lad if that ever happens. for now, i got to go. update might not be proper enough. but once i really got the m0od to post a g0od one, i'll feed you guys with updates of my life.
Monday, June 9, 2008
{ Monday, June 09, 2008 }
to my dearest darling one and only sayangsayang fee CICAK (LOLX),
HAPPY 7TH MONTHSARY and a kiss from me to you =)
7 months of enduring the rain and shine, walking through blizzards and sandstorms,
i'm glad to say my heart is still the same.
nobody can replace you in my heart and it beats only to your name; nobody else's.
you are my sunshine, my rainbow and my light.
don't leave, or you'll leave my life in the dark...
i love you with all my heart.
i'll come back with a proper update, i promise.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
{ Saturday, June 07, 2008 }
matters are at ease for quite a while now, but I'm not sure till when we can sustain with these issues. i don't know how long i can hold myself together like this. if this is the way things are always turning out, isn't it better for it to be settled as fast as possible? in my current situation, i don't think i can do that on my own.
i don't mean to be t0o pers0nal in writing, but i just don't want to bottle things up any longer. keeping quiet doesn't mean i don't feel anything. everyone has feelings. so do i. why can't people understand that? all i need is support and understanding from closed ones. tighten frayed relationships among us and understand each other. it sucks having lack of communication and little time for them. sucks big time when at the end of the month, i don't get to feel the $$$ that i deserve for my hard work. it's like i don't feel that my own hard work paid off you know. it feels like merely nothing. march 26 20o9 shall be the day i am really l0oking forward to.
let me go, out of this tight grip. it's like i'm being held back by a rubber band. as if being held back, i walk further and further away from it, trying to let l0ose, only to find it snapped because of the tense friction- or whatever you call it. now everytime i try to tie a knot around the snapped area, it snaps all over again and again till now. i just feel so exhausted both mentally and physically. the former makes me have headaches and m0od swings every so often. i feel like i'm a prisoner of my own life. trying to find a key to unlock the cell but the harder i try, the further i am from it.
nahhhh.. what i've been saying isn't even half of what i'm feeling. i don't think anybody will literally understand what's happening to and around me for once. i just hope someone will. and i know girlfriend does, only that it will take time for her to adapt to it all. i don't want our relationship to be at stake though, just cause of these things. i need to ease my mind. so0the myself from all the wicked and cruel happenings, especially recently.
i'm just at a loss for words already. hoping for a better tomorrow and a better start on monday, g0odnight to all bloggers =)
Labels: it's time i let things out of the bottle before it bursts.
to my dearest darling one and only sayangsayang fee CICAK (LOLX),
